Recent Me. September 2015

Finally I'm back! Perhaps I should say I am still alive LOL _(:з」∠)_

Yeap, I finished my semester 7, and now I was "enjoying" my semester break. When I was rushing my final project, I thought I will be very exciting during my semester break, but obviously NOPE. I have no idea why, but I feel empty. 

I guess maybe is because my diploma life is going to end, so I felt afraid. Yea, afraid, scare, fear,...lost. Before semester break, I'm sure I will continue my studies, but uncertainty is in Malaysia or Taiwan. Because I told my parents before, I have considered to go to Taiwan to continue my studies, but now...... Hrmmm.. 

I like Taiwan. Even though I never been there before, but I just don't know why I like there. But I afraid I will make the wrong decision...... As a dialogue in the movie "The Giver": "When people have the freedom to choose, they choose wrong.  Every. Single. Time." After I watched this movie, I really hope the Chief Elder will help me to make a choice. (If you have watch this movie, then you will know what I'm trying to say. *Sigh*).

I feel depressed in last whole week. Actually I had a plan for my semester break. First, exercise everyday. Second, clean my room. Third, hang out and buy some new clothes. Fourth, travel with friends to one of the island in Malaysia! Fifth, read the novels that I bought. Last, start to think about my future. 

Okay...... My DEPRESSION is ruining my plan...... (Well, at least I have done the third. The first and fifth still in progress. hahahaha) (づ￣▽￣)づ

Sometimes we could not cheat on ourselves, that's true. I keep on thinking the same thing, but I still can't get an answer that make me feel satisfy. 

"Who am I?" "My name is Lim Mei Vyei, I'm 20 years old, I live in Kuala Lumpur...... "

Well, that's an identity, that's not the answer I want.

This is the another reason why I feel lost and empty this few days.

I am very happy, but why I do not smile?

I do have friends, but why do I feel bored?

I have planned everything, but why do I feel so helpless?

I feel I have lost the connection with this world. ( But I declare, I'm not going to kill myself okay ¬_¬ lol )

Last week I went out alone. Every time I want to go shopping, I will choose to go alone. This habit makes me feel happy, freedom and comfortable. On that day, I sat on the bench, and looking at the crowd...... I don't know any one of them, and no one knows me. The gang of friends, Couples, Families,...... They just passed in front of me, I feel like I was transparent.  

Last time I don't understand why some people don't like to be alone... and now I got it. It makes peoples feel lonely.

Hrmmm.... Even so, sometime I still prefer to being alone, but not always. ヾ(･ω･*)ﾉ

Do not rely completely on any other human being, however dear. We meet all life’s greatest tests alone.” -Agnes Macphail.